Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I must be boring

Cuz no one comments anymore. Waaah. Did I lose readers??

Anyway.. some food for thought..

Someone called me last night saying that they wanted to introduce me to a brother in California. I guess he is a Latino convert (already one thing in common) and also a single father (woah - i'm a single mom!). He is a few years older than me. And that is all I really know.

It has been awhile since anyone has expressed interest in me or at least tried to 'hook me up'. I used to consider myself 'open minded' but this dry spell in the marriage possibilities department has led me to contemplate this supposed attribute of mine.

Am I open minded or just have low standards?

For example, there was one guy "Ibrahim" I was talking to and even developed feelings for who was Muslim born, University Educated. But he did not have an actual career, had a very liberal and carefree attitude towards Islam and life in general, and smoked (which for me is a major no-no).

I used to say as long as the guy prayed and didn't smoke, everything else is negotiable.

But even my 'strict' two-rule philosophy was bendable. I guess loneliness can change a girl...

Alas it didn't work out. He kinda lost interest in me. Which was hard because he had already asked his family to look for jewelry for me and was so nice to my son. But it was the qadr of Allah and now I look back and thank Him for removing Ibrahim from my life. Cool guy, but not the one.

So with Mexi-Muslim... I wonder if I should make a list of unbreakable standards that if not met, I refuse to relax.

#1 - Must pray 5 x per day, every day.

#2 - Attends Jumuah prayer every week and not just during Ramadan.

#3 - Education. Must have some form of higher learning under his belt. High-school drop outs need not apply.

#4 - NO CRIMINAL BACKGROUND OF ANY KIND. Yes people change, but I tend to attract the ones who generally do not.

#5 - Must have a stable job and income. Some sort of job that pays semi-well (I really don't care if you're not a millionaire). I'm all for marrying for the sake of Allah, but dude, don't look for a wife if you can't afford one.

#6 - Must like kids. Hi, I have one.

#7 - Does not refer to all non-Muslims as kaffirs and infidels.

#8 - No girl friends. As in friends that are girls. If I find someone who is like "Oh, I have friends that are girls but it's all halal". I'm not buying it. I've seen many myspace profiles of thse fierce Muslim with blond, tan girls in halters and bikinis on their top 10 list. And no, I don't believe you when you say it is for Dawah. Hi, I'm Jilbabble. The J stands for Jealous. I can be that. Don't push me, yo.

Anything else I am missing??


purvis said...

Good list. I second #7 and #8..

Here's my favorite line.. "But she's like a sister to me!"

WhatEVER, dude.

cncz said...

"Oh, I have friends that are girls but it's all halal".
preach on!
it's never "halal"...and it's never "dawah" a friend of mine used to say, "let's just go to hooters after jummah to do some dawah"

salam alaikoum

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

yeah me and cncz were gonna go to hooters but we could not find orange jilbabs so we opted against it until we can fit in better. Ok lets specific about other wives....oh yeah and make sure he bathes...cuz nothing is worse than stinky man

cncz said...

i so concur, most days my husbands lack of stink is the sole link saving our marriage, the fear or remarrying someone who smells....

Sobia said...

he he..funny!

HijabiApprentice said...

LMHO! I have a J in my name that stands for jealous too! LOL @ I can be that! I made it perfectly clear how I feel to a would be suitor about the friend-girl that you "love for the sake of Allah"! That should definitely send up red flags at the maturity level too! I have been on the naive side of just thinking I was a friend but believe me one person will alway catch feelings!

ma'a salaamah,