Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Then and Now

Being pregnant sucks. I really don't remember being such a mess with my son - and believe me, my circumstances were a whoooooole lot different then than they are now!

THEN: I was 18, married because I was naughty and got pregnant.
NOW: 28, married and THEEEEEEN got pregnant. Not naughty now....

THEN: My (then) husband didn't want to be a husband or a father.
NOW: My (now) husband is totally into the role, yo

THEN: I was married to an extroverted, womanizing, club-hopping, shop-lifting, wife-beating maniac.
NOW: Um.. he's like opposite of all that. Alhamdulillah.

THEN: Working in a chicken restaurant to make ends meet.
NOW: Teaching at an Islamic school to make ends meet. And of course for the sake of Allah. Plus the fact I can be all hijabified and Muslim and stuff without people arounding wondering why on earth I'm dressed like that. I can be me - weeeeee!

THEN: Morning sickness and other pregnancy related symptom were minimal.
NOW: I am a raging Hormonal Monster with roller coaster emotions and regurgitations.

THEN: No friends. At home all the time.
NOW: Oh... that part hasn't changed much.

Okay, okay... I have plenty of friends.... but my 'closeCLOSE'friends (at least 2) have since left Islam (One sighed "I need a break from being Muslim..." and I'm like... Uuuhhh... Islam isn't like a 9 to 5 job!) and are dealing with their 'issues' in less than favorable ways (Unhappy with your marriage, DATE OTHER PEOPLE!!!).

Kind of sad because I feelnow is when I needed them the most. My closest 'friend' hasn't called in a while. The last time we talked was when I thought I was miscarrying. She never called to check on me and never answered my calls or returned my messages. Now she is in town and 'too busy' to see me.

Kinda pouty.

Husband is pretty cool. He has been fixing the breaks on my car this evening (really.. this man just pays for himself...). Married life is... well... that's another post.

Alhamdillah, he is a wonderful human being. Really the differences are petty. I just want to go out more, be more like 'newlyweds' and not like we're pushing our golden anniversary within 3 months of marriage. Which is how I'd explain my life now. I am the Hijabi Golden Girl.

Anyhoo... going to go and take a shower and get some rest..... Good night...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Pregnancy Blues

I've got the blues, yo.

I'm tired, nauseous... being in my first trimester sucks big time. I'm so not enjoying it.

My first pregnancy wasn't this bad. I was nauseous and tired, but I could function. I didn't throw up.

Last night I was at my work's Eid Party. The food was bangin'. I was feeling good for a change. So I ate. I made sure to eat plenty of Buttered Chicken and Mansaf. Fattoush and Sambosa. Daal and Yalanji. I ate like I wasn't pregnant. Mixing flavors and food genres.. I didn't care!!!

A few hours later, as I hugged my toilet seat, I thought... "I'll never eat again..." Buttered Chicken burns on its way back out. Not pretty.

TMI, I know.


Where are my manners?!?!?!? EID MUBARAK EVERYONE!!

My Eid was nice - totally laid back. Went to Salah, then the masjid for breakfast... then vegged out at home til I had to go to the Eid Party.

Good Times. Alhamdulillah.


Have to go back to work tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it.


Eid morning I had a lapse of bad judgement and for no good reason whatsoever I decided to snoop.

The results were unsettling. I learned my lesson though. That's all I'll say about that.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Something happened today that triggered the Bitch part of my pregnant, hormone-infested self.

I got a Macy's gift certificate from work as an Eid present. I thought "Sweet! I can get a new dress for Eid! Weeeeee!"

So I went to Macy's and found some things in my budget... and tried them on... in various sizes cuz I'm a growing Mama...


I've already been gaining weight but now my gut is popping out - and it's not cute. Plus my butt is getting bigger day by day... so everything I tried on was NOT flattering at all...

I came home and took my anger out on the family... Sort of...

I'm not yelling... I'm just irritated by what anyone says or does.

God bless my family though. My son, even though he doesn't know I'm pregnant, helped me make dinner (although it was like pulling teeth)... my husband is going to rent me a movie after taraweeh... and my mom went out to sooth my craving for popsicles...

sweet sweet popsicles..

the one on the far right, as a matter of fact...

i can almost taste it...

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

8 down, 32 to go...

By that I mean weeks, yo.

I stopped fasting last week. It was becoming too much for me. I am having 'morning sickness' at night and the morning - the only times I can eat when I fast. So I decided to stop fasting and eat throughout the day. I feel so much better.

Now the last couple of days my hunger has become insatiable in the afternoon!! I am trying not to pig out because I don't want to get too fat. I went to order a pizza for tonight and while I waited I walked over to BK to order something off their Dollar Menu. I ate a sandwich while I waited for pizza.. which I'll be eating w/ my husband and son at Iftar in like an hour. I ate it like 20 minutes ago and I am still hungry!!


Tomorrow is my first ob-gyn appointment. I am going clear across town to an all-women's clinic. I'll get my first ultrasound insha allah. Kind of nervous, kind of excited.

I need more faith because since I found out I am pregnant I have been scared more than anything else. Will the baby be healthy? Will I carry to term?

I always seem to carry out all these "doom scenarios" (as my husband calls them) in my head, expecting the worse. Insha Allah kheir. I need to pray more and make more du'a.


I'm not as moody and emotional as I was last week. Surprise, surprise - Husband and I have been getting along very well lately! I got my milkshake, plus he has become more talkative with me (I talk too much... I feel wierd with quiet people).

Dictator Princess - I remember you told me you speak Dutch. Since you know the language... I am sure that must give you an insight on Dutch culture. I think I could benefit a lot if you'd post about it someday... because sometimes I think my husband is the wierdest person in the world.