Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Any Mom's out there have/had clueless husbands?

My H is extremely clueless about pregnancy, labor and delivery. He is not the type to read books and take classes. I read books but not so much into taking lamaze or anything like that. Anyway...

H has no idea what to expect with labor. I was talking with him the other night and I mentioned something about how labor can take a long time. He was shocked. He figured I'd feel some kind of pain and my water would break.. then we'd go to the hospital and I'd push a few times and then we'd be done.

I had to school him. And now he's all freaked out.

Tried to explain the whole mucus plug/water break/dilation/contractions. Not sure if it all registered. (English is his 2nd language.. but still..)

Now he is scared and doesn't want to be in the room. Too bad it's not an option.


pixie said...

Poor guy!!!:) I can't believe that he was that clueless about the whole thing!!!

iMuslimah said...

LOL jilbabble!

My husband was clueless too- Monday afternoon my doctor had a long talk with us, and he got a really clear picture of what he can expect. He isnt from the USA either...in his country it is unheard of, for a man to be with his wife IN the delivery room. We are gonna change all that!

He seemed to appreciate the enlightenment, andhas been super excited. Id like to have him facing me during the pushing stage, as I dont really want him to see what happens to my knish.
He agrees lol.

I think what he had the hardest time understanding, is the recovery afterwards, you know being sore and tired, learning to nurse etc...all takes great patience and time to heal. that was my biggest worry, that he would expect me to be a total dynamo after its all over.

I see you have 21 days left inshaallah. im rooting for you, and I pray that you have a healthy and easy delivery, and most of all that you enjoy your new baby, and that things with your husband continue to improve.

Im being induced is this friday night inshaallah unless I go into labor sooner, so- I will check back with you soon. Will post updates on my blog as well.

Assalamu alaykum sister,


Hijabi Apprentice said...

"Now he is scared and doesn't want to be in the room. Too bad it's not an option."

LOL!!! That is hilarious. My hubby is not clueless (he has kids already) but he's the really laid back not easily riled nonchalant kind of guy. You know I am the opposite of that! I'm the one freaking out and he's like oh it'll be fine and easy, relax. Then I mutter under my breath: Qu'est-ce que tu en sais? LOL!

loves and hugs to you hermana!


The DP said...

salam sister
My husband found a way to sneak out, he says his mom has to be in the room. MMMkay. Then the MIL tells me that men who see there women give birth don't want to make any more babies. MMMMMMkay.
I think I want to be alone.

Safiyyah said...

Salaams Sis:

Ha ha; that's funny. Poor guy!

iMuslimah - I will be thinking of you and say dua for you this Friday, Insha Allah! You, too, Jilbabble! Any day, Insha Allah :)

gulnari said...

How about you watch with him a few episodes of that Baby Story show on TLC? It's pretty cleaned up and edited, but it might help him a little. Sometimes they show c-section births and the father cutting the umbilical cord... and almost always you see the baby covered in goo and blood and all that goodness. It might give him some sense of what to expect and that might ease his nerves.

Once I saw a lady on that show spread eagle in front of her father in law and brother in law. The doctor was checking her dilation or something and both in-law guys were watching. That was really weird. XD

Mumina said...

Asalaam alaikum!

That's funny! My kids father was in the room when our 5 year old was born. He shared with me later that when he was a child, growing up in the Caribbean, he witnessed a lady give birth to her baby BY HERSELF on her lawn under a tree. He said he saw everything from behind a bush or something. I think it traumatized him!

Anyway, he was there for the birth of our first, but was oddly quiet the whole time.

With our second daughter, he too snuck out (like the comment from The DP) - my mother was there, and he went to take our other daughter to get breakfast, and just took FOREVER! I mean, he was gone for well over an hour after I got into the delivery room (b/c I got there when I was like 9 cm - oh, the pain) and I know he did this on purpose because he couldn't handle watching it again. Lol. The next time I saw him, we had been moved to the recovery room. So, I felt a bit alone, but it was drowned by the happiness of my lovely little baby, and I had my mother with me.

Make sure your H is prepared and DOES NOT bail out on you! I'm not sure of the best tactic, but maybe you can enlist your mother or whoever else may be there in the hospital to help make sure he doesn't skip out.

iMuslimah said...

Jilbabble ;)

Someone told me to pack snacks for hubby, and to possibly arrange for a family member to bring him a meal, so he cant use the food excuse to leave the room. I plan on packing things for him, as well as his prayer rug and qiblah finder.... there are just no excuses hehe.

Ma Salama ;)