Friday, April 4, 2008

Birth Plan

OK I'm bored... Normally I'm not so 'planny plan plan' about my life.. and even more so while pregnant. Like lamaze - not interested in sharing my pregnancy and labors with others.. and the thought of simulating labor in front of other couples just grosses me out. And talking about cerv**** and va-hoo-haas while there are other men in the room.. um.. no thanks.

So check out my birth plan (if you can stay awake through it.. I hope I don't bore anyone) and offer me any advice. I'm getting nervous about labor.

Thanks for all the comforting words, by the way ladies.. I am feeling much better now. May Allah bless you all for caring so much for this little jilbabbly whiny baby brat...

# I would like to be free to walk around during labor.
# I wish to be able to move around and change position at will throughout labor.
# I would like to be able to have fluids by mouth throughout the first stage of labor.
# I will be bringing my own music to play during labor.
# I would like the environment to be kept as quiet as possible.
# I would like the lights in the room to be kept low during my labor.
# I would like to wear contact lenses or glasses at all times when conscious.
I would like the option of showering to relax and manage pain

# I would prefer to be allowed to try changing position and other natural methods (walking, nipple stimulation) before pitocin is administered.

# I realize that many pain medications exist I'll ask for them if I need them.
# I would like to have a walking epidural (low dose).

# Unless absolutely necessary, I would like to avoid a Cesarean.
# If a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to be fully informed and to participate in the decision-making process.
# I would like (coach) present at all times if the baby requires a Cesarean delivery.
# I wish to have an epidural for anesthesia
# So I can view the birth, I would like the screen lowered just before delivery of the baby.
# If the baby is not in distress, the baby should be given to (coach) immediately after birth.

# I would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely required for the baby's safety.
# I would like a local anesthetic to repair a tear or an episiotomy.

# I would like to be allowed to choose the position in which I give birth, including squatting.
# I would like (partner) and/or nurses to support me and my legs as necessary during the pushing stage.
# I would like to try to deliver in a squatting position, using (coach) or a squatting bar for support.
# I would like a mirror available so I can see the baby's head when it crowns.
# I would appreciate having the room lights turned low for the actual delivery.
# I would appreciate having the room as quiet as possible when the baby is born.
# I would like to have the baby placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.

# I would like to have (coach) cut the cord.
# I would like to hold the baby while I deliver the placenta and any tissue repairs are made.
# I would like to hold the baby for at least fifteen minutes before (he/she) is photographed, examined, etc.
# I would like to have the baby evaluated and bathed in my presence.
# I plan to keep the baby near me following birth and would appreciate if the evaluation of the baby can be done with the baby on my abdomen, with both of us covered by a warm blanket, unless there is an unusual situation.
# If the baby must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, (coach) or some other person I designate will accompany the baby at all times.
# I would prefer to hold the baby rather than have (him/her) placed under heat lamps.

# I would like a private room, if available.
# I would like to have the baby "room in" and be with me at all times.
# I would like the baby with me during the day but in the nursery at night, but brought to me for breastfeeding. (Note: be sure to check the breastfeeding preferences below.)

# I plan to breastfeed the baby and would like to begin nursing very shortly after birth.
# Unless medically necessary, I do not wish to have any bottles given to the baby (including glucose water or plain water).
# I do not want the baby to be given a pacifier.
# I would like more information about breastfeeding.
# I would like to meet with a Lactation Consultant.

C-Word -- Religious reasons, folks!!! Spare me the female c'n jokes and comparisons with the non-mozzy world, mkay?
# I would like the baby to be C'D before we check out of the hospital.

# I would like my other child/ren to be able to visit me and the baby in the hospital.
# I would prefer that no students, interns, residents or non-essential personnel be present during my labor or the birth.


Muslim007 said...

I have been added to the blogroll I feel soo honored. Inshallah i hope you have a smooth birth!

Solace said...

Wow, you thought of everything. I totally agree with the no pacifier point you made.

I was wondering if your husband will be your coach?

Safa said...

I have two things with ur plan...

How about adding where you've said that you'd like to take a shower to help deal with pain.....that you also say "take a bath" ?

I was allowed to take a jacuzzi bath special for mothers in helped so much with the pain......

And why have you said that you'd prefer to hold the baby rather than have him/her placed under the heat lamps?

I just don't understand the's soooo cold for the baby once they enter into our cold cruel world......

And I'm just amazed at what you have written btw...masha Allah!

Mark Lyndon said...

Right after birth is the worst time to circumcise. Newborn babies don't have much of an immune system, and can die from things that are harmless to us. At least two babies have died from the coldsore virus following circumcision.

If you wait till he's six months old, then general anaesthetic can be used. If you wait a few more years, then the foreskin will have separated from the glans, so it will hurt less because of that.

The results are cosmetically better if you wait too. A lot of circumcisions to newborns need "revisions" (a second operation). That doesn't happen with circumcisions later in life.

jilbabble said...

muslim007 - i've been meaning to add so many people but i can only sit at the computer so long before i feel like the baby will fall out of me. nice visual.. sorry. sitting is fine.. just when i stand up is when i feel the pressure..

solace - my husband doesn't understand the whole 'coach' concept. in fact, when i asked him about cutting the umbilical chord he was like, 'huh, what?" totally, totally clueless. but yeah, he'll be there. ia.

safa - okay.. i cheated on this birth plan. there is a website where you just mark the things that apply to you and you can even add stuff. the heat lamp thing confuses me too.. i was like, 'i want to hold my baby as much as possible' because i never had that chance with my son. i have no idea what a 'typical' birth is like, so all that stuff like examinations is foreign. when my son was born, the nurses let me look at him from a distance and then took off to the nicu. :-(

mark - uh.. hi. i had no idea dudes read my blog. thanks for your insight. i appreciate it and will keep it in mind.

Hugh7 said...

Will the doctors circumcise newborn girls where you are? That's unusual.

jilbabble said...

hugh are you trying to be funny? who said i'm having a girl? circumcision is not for girls. if this is some kind of passive-aggressive insult or joke about Islam, go somewhere else dude. i'm having a boy.

Safiyyah said...

As Salaamu Alaikum Sis:

I think you have some strange visitors here :) (the dudes)

Anyhow, it's a great plan and I'm happy that hubby will be there. Make sure he says the Adhan in his ear. And most hospitals are pretty good with respecting your wishes/plan and also religious aspects where possible (modesty, few people, etc.)

TLC Tugger said...

Every mammal on earth has done just fine for hundreds of thousands of years without postpartum surgery.

Circumcision removes over half a male's pleasure-receptive nerve endings.

My 72 year-old mother lives next door. Every time I see her I greet her with slap to the face. It's more like a love tap, and it's a running joke between us, as she apologized years ago for circumcising me in 1962 out of ignorance.

Today there is no excuse for ingorance. 95% of the world's non-Muslims don't circumcise.

HIS body HIS decision.

iMuslimah said...

Salaams sister!

What is the birth plan website? I want!!! I have about 3 weeks left inshaallah and would like to put one together beofre my next appt this week!

Shukran ;)


UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

umm ok I loved the birh plan but whats up with the men who got some circumcision issues. Both of my sons were circumcised, my oldest son though will have to get more removed once he is older. They didn't do that great of a job hubby was pretty upset but I told him to just wait and if DS wants to fix it when he is older then he can. I thought you were having a girl too for some reason but when I saw the circumcision part I assumed I was wrong....I wonder why I thought it was a girl....must be the crazy I caught from Safa....

alienbea said...


I assumed they found your blog via a (what is probably an endless & daily) search for the C word. Seems to be their raison d'ĂȘtre. One would be tempted to say uncomplimentary things about such a hobby, but I'll desist.

I got to hold my first son right after he were born, but it was only for a few minutes before he was whisked away (but he came back after another few minutes). My second son came out blue and had to wear the world's tiniest oxygen mask for a few minutes (alhumdillah -- he's perfectly fine) until he pinked up, and I wasn't able to hold him until they were sure he was okay. Insha'Allah your birth will be smooth and without any problems whatsoever, and you'll be able to hold your own son as soon as he's born. It's a very special moment.

Safiyyah said...

As Salaamu Alaikum:

Alienbea: I can relate. I think the Zionists and Kahanis found my blog through such a search. No wonder a lot of Muslim women are using protected posts and private blogs. Ya Allah!

For the Men: It is a religious requirement to circumcize.

Jaycie said...

From what I remember from my birthing class from my last pregnancy... your body naturally will warm itself and the baby when they place the baby on you. I think that is why there is the decision between the heat lamps or your chest. They placed my little girl on my chest for like a minute but then they take her and cleaned her off and got her all wrapped up. Great birth plan. I hope it goes exactly the way you have envisioned it. btw.. I read your blog all the time and came from a link on Sobia's. So I didn't do some crazy search to find you. :)

Mark Lyndon said...

I'm neither a Zionist nor a Kahani - I just think it's wrong to cut off parts of children's genitals. At least if you wait till later on, then he can decide for himself, and there are good medical reasons to wait too. It's not a Muslim idea to circumcise newborns, and I don't think most Muslim males worldwide would be circumcised before they're about ten years old.

Not all Muslims agree that it is a religious requirement to circumcise at all:

jilbabble said...

ladies - thanks for the feedback about warming the baby. the whole process after the pushing is so foreign to me - i feel like a first timer! i still have all these questions.. i'll post on that later.

mark - again, I appreciate you level of maturity on this subject. thanks for not muslim-bashing! but honestly, i am fully aware that muslims have differing opinions on islam and applying practices. you can rationalize anything, these days. and i hear what you are saying, but please - just because there are those muslims who choose not to follow a certain aspect of our religion doesn't mean that i will too. my first son was circumcized (even though i was not muslim at the time - it was for potential health reasons) so i have no doubts about this one, either. again, i appreciate the time you have taken to eloquently prove a point, but you are preaching to the wind, my friend.

btw - no one is calling you a zionist or a kahani. if you checked out that sister's blog you'd understand why she made that comment.

jilbabble said...

ladies - thanks for the feedback about warming the baby. the whole process after the pushing is so foreign to me - i feel like a first timer! i still have all these questions.. i'll post on that later.

mark - again, I appreciate you level of maturity on this subject. thanks for not muslim-bashing! but honestly, i am fully aware that muslims have differing opinions on islam and applying practices. you can rationalize anything, these days. and i hear what you are saying, but please - just because there are those muslims who choose not to follow a certain aspect of our religion doesn't mean that i will too. my first son was circumcized (even though i was not muslim at the time - it was for potential health reasons) so i have no doubts about this one, either. again, i appreciate the time you have taken to eloquently prove a point, but you are preaching to the wind, my friend.

btw - no one is calling you a zionist or a kahani. if you checked out that sister's blog you'd understand why she made that comment.

Hugh7 said...

Jilbabble, I was recently at an Indonesian blog where the ladies were talking about circumcising their daughters (minimally, sterilely, with anaesthetic) in exactly the same terms, so please excuse my confusion.

Safiyyah, us dudes want to protect our little dude buddy, just as you ladies want to protect your little sisters.

There is nothing about circumcision in the Qu'ran, only a weak hadith, and the health reasons are all bogus, as you can find at these pages.

As modern women (with access to blogs and ultrasound), you owe it to your sons to find out what circumcision actually entails, for example here.

Cutting babies' genitals is neither compasssionate nor merciful.

TLC Tugger said...

The body is made perfect by Allah and needs no alteration:

- 15:28-29 Your Lord said to the angels, "I am creating a human being from aged mud, like the potter's clay. Once I perfect him, and blow into him from My spirit, you shall fall prostrate before him."

- 32:7 He is the One who perfected everything He created, and started the creation of the human from clay.

- 82:7-8 The One who created you, designed you, and perfected you. In whatever design He chose, He constructed it.

- 95:4 We created man in the best design.

- - - - -
Also, most Muslims are not circumcised in infancy. There is absolutely no support for stating that cutting in infancy is a divine requirement.


Safiyyah said...

Mark: Yes, please forgive me if I made my comment vague. I meant that MY blog was drawing the Zionists and the Kahanis. Sorry if I offended you :)

Safiyyah said...

There is an Islamic basis for circumcision:

Abu Hurayrah (ra) reported that Allah's Messenger (saw) said: "There are five qualities of fitrah: circumcision, shaving the public hair, trimming the mustache, clipping the nails, and plucking the armpit hair." (Bukhari, Muslim)

In another narration, the Prophet (saw) named ten or eleven qualities of fitrah. Aishah (ra) reported that Allah's Messenger (saw) said: "There are ten qualities of fitrah: trimming the mustache, sparing the beard, siwak, inhaling water to clean the nose and rinse the mouth, clipping the nails, washing the finger kunclkes, plucking the armpit hair, having the public hair, washing the private parts with water, and circumcision." (Muslim, Dawud, Ahmad and others)

The practice was first ordained by Allah (swt) for His prophet Ibrahim (as). It became a consistent practice among his descendants and followers including Jews and Muslims until our time. The Prophet (saw) even commanded new Muslims to get circumcised.

Sh. Al-Albani said, "As for the ruling of circumcision, the correct opinion according to us is that it is obligatory. This is the opinion of the majority of ulama."

As for female "circumcision", there is no Islamic foundation for this practice, and it cannot be attributed to Islam. Rather, it is a cultural practice, observed by some Muslims. It is NOT a religious practice or mandate.

Above daleel from "our Precious Sprouts: Islamic Regulations for Newborns" by Imam Muhammad al-Jibaly.

PM said...

"Tic Tugger"?

Ya'Allah! Is there some kind of man's anti-clipping league?

Geez guys. It's religiously prescribed for Muslims. Have any of you thought of that?

mommamu said...

Actually they are finding that circumcisions cuts the risk of males contracting AIDS by 70%. AIDS is not as prevalent in Muslim countries in Africa-not because (unfortunately) the behavior is different from other African countries but because the vast majority of males are circumcised. Check out the links below.

mommamu said...

Also, just to comment on your birthing plan. I wanted to tell you usually if you're having a c-section, Dr.'s will not under any circumstances let you see or move that stupid screen. I had a c-section with my son and I went round and round with the dr. They saw that it is too much potential to upset you seeing yourself cut and they won't allow it.

Also, as far as putting the baby on the chest. I have actually read that it is best to do that so that there is an immediate bond with the mother and the baby is soothed by your heartbeat which it is used to hearing 24-7. Additionally, studies have been shown where babies who were born without drugs being administered to the mother would begin immediately rooting for the breast when placed on the mother's chest. (I used to want to be a midwife) You have all the time in the world for them to take your baby away-I say savor the fruit of your labor! :)

Lastly, I really am behind you on the not introducing the bottle or pacifier. I have had several friends whose baby was given the bottle/pacifier before they got a chance to nurse and the baby had a difficult time latching on and learning to suck from the breast. A baby uses completely different tongue movements to get milk from a bottle than a breast and it is a lot easier to drink from a bottle so some babies can't make that switch so easily. Some can and have no problem but why risk it when you want your baby to have as much nutrient-rich colostrum as possible. (Did I mention I am in early intervention as well :)

Oh one more thing (last thing I promise) I would also ask that the Dr does not immediately give you an episiotomy unless you really need it. 90% of Dr's automatically cut the woman so that they won't have to worry about if they have to do it later. It's usually unnecessary-please read up some more on that.

And with that I'll shutup! :)

Mark Lyndon said...

The HIV and circumcision thing is nowhere near as clear-cut as some people like to make out. The HIV rate is higher among circumcised men in Cameroon, Ghana, Lesotho, Malawi, Rwanda, and Tanzania. Men who are already HIV+ seem to be more likely to transmit the virus to women too.

At the end of the day, a man has to be having unsafe sex with an HIV+ partner for circumcision to make a difference, so I don't think circumcision is the answer.

Female circumcision seems to protect against HIV too btw, but we wouldn't investigate cutting off women's labia, and then start promoting that.

Umm Layth said...

as salamu 'alaykum

I think people need to take their C comments and shove them up their nose.

Jilbabble, make sure you get some Bisphenol-A (plastic #7) free baby bottles for when you do feed water, juice etc... Or get glass bottles. 95% of baby bottles are made with Bisphenol-A which is now proven to cause a type of cancer and linke to many other issues. This type of plastic has been banned in some cities (I also believe it has been banned in San Francisco).

I'm sorry you had to deal with these anti c's. LOl They need to seriously chill.

Mark Lyndon said...

We get exactly the same sort of reaction when we post against female genital cutting. Yes, people blog about that too, and get veeery defensive about it.

People don't want to debate the issues, so they say it's nothing to do with anyone else and insult us.

Let the children decide. It's their body. Even if someone decides to go ahead with circumcising a boy, doing it straight after birth is the absolute worst possible time to do it.

Look at it this way - if someone intact wants to be circumcised, it's easy to fix. If someone circumcised wants to be intact, it can't be done.

Hugh7 said...

I wasn't going to post again, but umm layth was so charming I had to come back.

pm: there have been "religious requirements" in the past for many things that we now agree are human rights outrages. Calling something "religious" doesn't mean we should turn off all our critical faculties.

And it's a people's anti-genital cutting league. I don't think there's a single person opposed to male circumcision who isn't also opposed to female genital cutting. Sadly, the reverse isn't true. But if you think it's just "clipping" you need to see one of the videos showing what is actually involved. As with ummabdur rahmaan's son, it can go wrong, and worse than that.