Wednesday, April 18, 2007

And winner for the Worst Mom Award .. is .. ME!

Needing some major du'as right now... If anyone reads this anymore...

I was up late trying to finish a report for work... went to bed around 2 and planned on waking up at 4 to finish in. Well.. I did wake up at four... and when I sat at the computer and double clickedon Word... I hear moans of pain coming from my son's room.

I thought at first he was having a nightmare..

But when I sat at his bedside he was awake, crying that his side hurt.

He was writhing for well over an hour. I'm not sure if he has a kidney stone or what. With his kidneys being the way they are... I'm freaked.

He is feeling better now (3 hours later) but his side still bothers him.

I am trying to get him in to see a doctor.

Why does this make me the world's worst mother? Well.. because his health problems and overall well-being has taken a backseat to my work. And I wonder what the effects of that will be.

I am very angry at myself.

Allah forgive me for not being the best Mom I can be.


purvis said...

Mama, you are a GREAT Mom, anyone can see that. You are waaaay too hard on yourself. Some of the best, most diligent parents I know have told me stories about almost hitting their kids while backing out of a driveway, almost poisoning their kids by not checking expiration dates on stuff. Dude, you are SO not a bad mom. Just the opposite.

Leila said...

you are not bad mom! Plz dont say that, coz its obvious from your writing that you care so much for your child..I am single mom of two and I know how hard it is, sometimes even that hard that you cant stand it..but you have to. Just do your best sis and leave the rest for Allah.
Be strong, wish you all the best:)

Safa said...

Don't be so hard on yourself.....we are all great mothers.....just a little short of perfect....

Remember that, and forgive your own I have forgiven mine....