The best thing I can do for myself right now is to continue living my life the way I have been...
I teach full time during the week. Weekends I usually just stay home, or attend events that are sponsored by the organization I work for. I keep busy being a part of the outreach committee for this organization.. and we basically plan events, fundraisers, etc.
What else? I read a lot and I watch movies. I like to hang out in bookstores and coffee shops by myself because whenever I have someone with me, they kind of take away that special closeness I feel when I'm just browsing books and drinking my coffee.
Did H share in this life with me? To a certain extent, and as far as he felt comfortable. We are two verrrrry different people. I can be both extremely social but value spending time alone or with my family. I don't need to always be talking on the phone and going shopping, comparing recipes and gossiping about others people's lives. My husband is extremely introverted. He makes few friends and holds them very dear. He will attend an occasional event, but big crowds turn him off. He can handle praying in large groups but once salah is over he says his salaams and is out the door. Me - I like to stay back and visit.
So we are different.